I’m sorry to tell you that, folks, but yeah, no post this week.
Now before you go into a truth-withdrawal and start foaming a the mouth, let me tell you why.
While trying to cross the border into the sh@thole country of Arzbakistan to investigate some juicy news nuggets, I was captured. I’ve been in a dark room for hours—days maybe at this point—the guards just left for evening prayers. I’ve managed to connect to the Internet with nothing but their old MS-DOS machine and the wires they’ve had clamped to my nipples.
I’m taking potentially my only chance of escape to let you guys know there won’t be a post this week. I hope you all appreciate my sacrifice here for you and the truth!
When my captors get back, the anal probing might be next. I may not survive to see the sun again. If I don’t then this was R. T. Madsen, proud alternative Internet journalist and heroin addict.
…God, my skin, it itches…