Sen. Chuck Schumer delivers doomsday prophecy

chucky_shoe

ROCHESTER, NY – Just last Saturday, May 5th, something strange happened while Senator Chuck Schumer was giving a speech to the graduating class of the University of Rochester.

While in the middle of inspiring the students about how bright and smiley the future was, the Ioudaios senator suffered a momentary lapse of consciousness just as he was about to begin telling the most inspiring story of all—his own.

Attendants rushed to the senator’s side. But no sooner had he slumped over on the podium when Schumer’s eyes, now pure black, flew open. In a voice that filled the auditorium, the senator brought his speech on a whole other, strange new track. One observer reported the senator’s bizarre words to us here at DOOM TRUTH.

“Woe to you, fools and sheep! A culling of the herd is fast approaching. Yea, a dark day is coming! A day of weeping and wild lamentation. This doom will be preceded by many signs and omens. Seven stars will appear in the night sky and the Earth will open its mouth to receive the Son of Heaven. The chest will be opened and that which was contained will be freed. A storm cloud will pass over this land and leave it desolate. One of three men will be taken. The earth will be cleansed of the human race. The blood of a third of humanity shall be poured out as a libation to the the three-headed Dragon, on whose heads are rows of six horns. Flee into the wilderness! Cower in your homes! It matters not, no one can hide from the all-seeing eye! Nothing you do, nothing you say will matter! You are all dust! Wail in your helplessness, weep in your anguish. Fall down before the dread might of the reaper and his crimson scythe. All shall tremble before him and despair!”

After finishing this proclamation, Senator Schumer’s eyes cleared. He swayed on his feet then smiled reassuringly to the crowd.

“I’m sorry, folks, I seem to have blacked out there for a moment. Now where was I? Ah yes, I was just about to tell you a very inspiring story about me. My story began when I was born a poor black child on the upper West Side…”

Though Senator Schumer tried to cover it up, it seems that he delivered some type of doomsday prophecy. Should we take his warning seriously? Is there a coming culling of humanity? It may be so. Who knows what secrets Schumer is privy to; secrets he may have let slip during his little episode.

For now, just continue to gather supplies and finish digging that apocalypse shelter every reader of DOOM TRUTH is recommended to build. Meanwhile, we here at DT will continue to decipher the senator’s prophecy and also figure out if he switched meds recently.

– R. T. Madsen and the DOOM TRUTH crew

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s