An unnamed source inside the Clinton’s Chappaqua, NY home has reported that the entire house vanished in a burst of flames. This came on the footsteps of hours of inhuman screams coming from inside.
I promise you, dear doom-truther, you won’t find this story in the New York Times or anywhere else for that matter.
We have good sources on this story. An unnamed employee of the Clinton’s Chappaqua estate has confirmed that around 3:00 AM EST last night, the entire house vanished in a blast of fire that lit several trees and hedges on fire. The flames were promptly put out by staff members without the aid of the local fire department.
The house vanished after several hours of screaming. According to our source, the screaming came from somewhere down in the vast, labyrinthian basement of the house, in which many staff members have disappeared over the years.
About fifteen minutes after 3, our source says, the house reappeared in another burst of flames. Smoke and whiffs of sulfur covered the estate grounds for some time after. Miraculously, the lights were on in the house. The power lines and plumbing, severed when the house vanished, were all reconnected.
Bill and Hill, holding hands, stepped out of the front door and told their gathered, frightened staff that all was well. Throughout her short speech, Hill kept referring to “visiting the Master”, and “speaking with the Bright One”, and “drinking the covenantal blood of the elohim of Alpha Centauri”.
The Clinton couple acted as if they had been gone for some time; years even. Hill had clearly forgotten the names of all her staffers and simply referred to her African-American butler of fifteen years as “the black one.”
While she spoke, our source reports, muscles under Hill’s face squirmed, distorting the skin. Her face began to sag: Bill had to hold the folds of her eyelids up so she could see.
Our source says, “I watched in horror as Mrs. Clinton’s face started to melt. It was just her face though, nothing else. Her left eye started sliding down, the whole socket moving. It was like her face was Play-Doh being molded by a child. I’m new, so this thing disturbed me deeply. But other staff members who’ve been here longer didn’t bat an eye.”
Hill abruptly ended the speech by saying that there were several new positions open in the basement cleaning crew. A handful of lucky staff members could make a whopping $5 more an hour by simply—as she put it—”…You know, just kinda go down there and wander around the labyrinth a little. You’ll know when the job begins.”
By the end of her speech, Hill’s face was completely deformed. One eye was up where her forehead used to be while the other was peering at the crowd from her cheek. Her mouth was at a near vertical angle, running from where her eyebrows used to be to her chin.
She and Bill bade their staff good night and retired to their bedroom without further explanation.
What does this mean, adroit internaut? Do Bill and Hill have a dark secret that their media whores aren’t telling us? It seems so. Where did Bill n’ Hill go, and why? What’s wrong with Hill’s face? We’ll continue digging and let you know what we find.
Remember, you heard this story first on DOOM TRUTH: the internet’s #1 site for “fake news”.
– R. T. Madsen and the DOOM TRUTH crew